ARBITRAGE ANDY 2020 GIFT GUIDE
What's up Size Lords? Here are my top Wall Street, Finance, and Business presents. Bankers, Traders, Hustlers, and Salesmen if you're like me you waited until the last possible minute to buy Holiday Gifts as your siblings or other family members gloat about getting their shopping done early. I have comprised a highly liquid and immediate offering of some of my top last minute gift tranches. Make sure to lift the offer quickly if you need to. Volume on offer seems to be going down on select sites each day that passes.
Arbitrage Andy Private Offerings
Before the list here are our most popular Arbitrage Andy financial merchandise offerings of 2020:
Lehman Brothers Hat - For Lehman Brothers fanboys and Wall Street History lovers
Big Yield Guy Hat - For all my homies slinging debt and bond size
Bronze Bull Bear Wall Street Statue - $69.99
1. A classic Bronze bull bear Wall Street statue. Do you even work on wall street if you don’t have a bull bear fighting statue? I have one on my work desk and one in my room back home. Good motivation to make more money and act the part. Perfect for the Wall Street fanboy or aspiring banker or trader. Several options for delivery before Christmas below:
Arrives before Christmas
Bull Bear Cufflinks - $21.88
2. I don't really ever where cufflinks unless I am in the mood to get severely lit and do dumb shit in a tuxedo at a dope venue. When I do I wear these Bull Bear Cufflinks or some other bougie pair with precious metals on them. Nice stocking stuffer or white elephant gift for someone you're not trying to drop racks on.
Buy Low Sell High Cufflinks - $24.99
Or if these don't tickle your fancy you can go for the Buy Low Sell High Cufflink Variant below.
Hydro Flask Water Bottle - $34.95
3. I got a Hydro Flask Water Bottle as a gift and it's been one of my favorite presents I have ever received and that's no cap. Allows for substantial consistent hydration without the need for continuous refills or plastic bottles. Works great for the office, re-hydrating from a summer Tennis Court bang sesh, or for the morning after sucking all of the water out of your body with hard liquor. Stays cold af for hours.
Anti Theft Smart Wallet - $109.99
4. One of the most stressful checks you can do abroad or when traveling domestically is the three phase quick check for the iPhone, Passport, Wallet constantly as you walk wasted through an airport. In this wild new age we live in travel security is more a concern. My brother swears by this Anti Theft Smart Wallet. Has integrated Qi wireless, a stainless steel pen, and slots for passports, condoms, and the bag of edibles you mixed with trail mix.
Leather Travel Duffel Bag - $129.99
5. Every man and women needs a stylish and durable travel bag. Generally I use the original leather bag I received from my first firm but I also own another for weekends in Montauk, Miami, or quick weekend business trips. I have noticed that leather bags are durable, convenient for all trip essentials, and add a degree of drip to your travel aura. In an era where most men wear sweatpants and hoodies onto planes be the guy who has a casual loafers, a massive wang, and a leather duffel in the admiral's club. One of the most used items I own and you don't have to break the bank to get one. This one is Buffalo leather. Stay regal.
Ben Franklin Money Socks - $12.99
6. This one should be pretty self explanatory. Ben Franklin Money Socks. Who doesn't want money socks? Good stocking stuffer for your girlfriend's mom or a perfect white elephant present for the analyst in your office who underperforms and went to a sub par school.
Bullet Whiskey Stones - $32.99
7. The perfect gift for a country boy or 2A lord you know. Bullet Whiskey Stones. One things for sure, as the political climate and division in America heats up guns are the top of the discussion list again. Perfect gag gift for a liberal relative or for your grandfather who stacked bodies in Korea. Just make sure you don't swallow one by accident. Shitting it out would likely hurt.
Pit, The Game - $12.99
8. Pit, The Game is a classic Wall Street game designed to replicate open out cry bidding for commodities. Good fun if you have had one too many drinks. One of the few games that is easier for big unit sized sales guys who can dominate verbally and physically at the table. A must have for the cabin in Vail or Lake Tahoe. I recommend playing late night for side bet games of $50 once you all have the hang of it.
Countertop Ice Maker - $465.99
9. I know what you're thinking, what the fuck Andy an Elite Ice Maker? Hear me out though. This stainless steel elegant model has blue tooth for a custom happy hour time schedule, requires no water hook up, and pushes out 24 lbs of soft crunchy ice size daily. Really a no brainer for people who host pre games or nice dinners. The design is sleek and futuristic. In a way you'll be the Betty Draper of the neighborhood with the latest in wealth kitchen ware. Also a thoughtful gift for mom and dad if they spend a lot of time in the kitchen.
Urban Bug Out Kit - $43.99
10. My last recommendation is an Urban Survival Kit. Call me crazy but with 2020 bringing wilder and wilder events I like to stay prepared for anything when I am in New York City, this kit has everything you would want in the event there is high social unrest, a terrorist attack, or surge in the virus. While some might scoff at this suggestion it pays to prepare. A small price to have all the items you might want if things get hairy. Coms with a tourniquet, emergency blanket, knife, flares, and med kit among other things. Trust me, not a bad look if you're living in an urban environment.
Arbitrage Andy Gift Card - Various Amounts
11. An Arbitrage Andy Gift Card, perfect for the avid finance fan. Choose from a variety of offerings in the Arbitrage Andy exchange. Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Salomon Brothers, Gazprom, and Tesla gifts to name a few.